Yeah, that kid won’t need therapy.
North joins a lengthy list of other celebrity babies with monikers guaranteed to get them bullied on the jewel-encrusted playgrounds of their private schools.
Tu Morrow – Rob Morrow
Blanket – Michael Jackson
Jermajesty – Jermaine Jackson. (What’s with that family?)
Kal-El – Nicolas Cage (Do you think he wears Superman UnderRoos?)
Gwyneth Paltrow – Apple (I wish she had another child named iPad.)
Frank Zappa was the original celebrity with kids with crazy names – Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahment, Diva. (At least he had the ’60s as an excuse.)
And that’s just a few of the stars who gave their kids strange names. There are way too many more.
Is there some kind of secret Hollywood competition to see who can screw up their kids the most by giving them a strange name? Are they just so smitten with themselves that they don’t care about saddling their kids with terrible names? Do they think they’re creative geniuses?
I really don’t know.
But, this whole thing got me thinking, if I were a famous, narcissistic celebrity what would I name my kids?
In the tradition of Kim, Kanye and Rob Morrow I came up with…
Wait for it…
You know, like the beer. I don’t even drink, but I am Irish, so it could work. I couldn’t come up with much else that goes with Stout. Ima Little Teapot Shortand is too long.
If I’m just going with weird names, I’m thinking Downton Stargazer. I like Downton Abbey and looking at stars. Makes sense, right?
So let’s play a little game. If you were a celeb what weird names would you give your kids? Tell us in the comments so we can all have a good laugh!