A Bunch of Unrelated Kinda Funny Stuff

I screwed up Tuna Helper a couple nights ago.

First of all, for everyone out there going, “Yuck,” it’s not bad. If you like tuna casserole, you’ll like Tuna Helper.

Healthy, organic?

Anything but.

Easy?

It’s supposed to be.

I can cook from scratch, but not from a box?

Good grief!

My son suddenly developed a fear of bugs.

Twice now when a bug landed on him outside, he screamed like someone told him Spongebob was dead, then burst into tears.

Now, I’ve never told him bugs were gross or scary.

Well, except for spiders. I am deathly afraid of spiders. He may have seen me scream at the sight of one a few times.

I am told that in Australia, where my sister-in-law lives, it is not unusual to have spiders the size of your hand in your house, and it’s quite possible that they are poisonous. If I ever go to visit her, and I see one of those spiders, they will have to send me home in a body bag.

I will die right there on the spot.

But I’m not bothered by the rest of the insect world. In fact, I like to point out interesting bugs to my son, like walking sticks. We even hatched a praying mantis cocoon in a jar this spring. We had a hundred of those critters inside that thing, and he thought is was cool.

So this fear of insects goes unexplained.

Potty training is going very well here these days.

My son, who once feared pooping on the toilet, gets excited about it now. He calls me into the bathroom afterward to view his handiwork resting on the bottom of the bowl. Quite often he likes to describe it, telling me that it has a nose or it looks like a pine cone.

I didn’t even know that he knew what a pine cone was.

We don’t have any pine trees around our house.

I’m beginning to wonder where they get these so called “experts” that give commentary on the news.

One guy trying to argue against the use of wind power said, “What are you going to do when the wind is not blowing? Your lights will go out!”

They store the generated power in batteries you moron.

Then another guy this morning told us we should all go out and buy a Mini Cooper, because it gets good gas mileage.

Um, O.K.

And we’ll just strap the two kids in car seats to the roof, and they can hold the groceries on their laps.

We saw the movie Wall-E tonight.

I heard people say that it was boring because there wasn’t enough dialogue. But my son was mesmerized by it. He was more interested in Wall-E than any other movie we’ve taken him to in the theater. I think the lack of dialogue actually make it easier for his three year old mind to follow.

A lot of people also complained about the preachy environmentalist message.

Now I’m not a big tree huger. I mean I won’t go out of my way to cut down a tree, but I’m also not opposed to trimming it a little if need be. I’ve said before the only thing going green around here is last week’s leftovers in my fridge.

But I didn’t find Wall-E to be at all preachy. I was more like 1984 for kids.

The ending of Happy Feet? Now that’s preachy. And what’s with all the sexual innuendo in that so-called kids’ movie?

O.K. I’ve reached the end of my random string of thoughts.

For now.