This morning I was reading through the piles of papers the nurse gave me after my OBGYN appointment yesterday.
You know, information about the hospital, tests I need to have, information about pregnancy.
None of it’s really news to me since this isn’t my first time around the maternity ward. But some of the stuff just struck me as funny.
1. “Avoid lifting more than 20 pounds.” I have a 3 year old that weighs 44 lbs. Three year olds are not easily avoided.
2. “Discontinue participation in all contact sports.” Oh, man! No more women’s roller derby for me.
3. “Notify the doctor if you experience severe swelling of the upper body.” Maybe they should should be more clear about what they mean by “swelling”.
4. “Notify the doctor if you experience sudden weight gain.” Huh?
5. The hospital offers a class called All Day Lamaze. Well, perhaps the monotony and duration of it more closely simulates real labor.
6. A sign of pre-term labor is listed as, “A general feeling that something is not right.” I have that feeling often. Usually when my son is playing in his room, and it’s too quite.
7. On the list of things to bring to the hospital, “A blank cassette tape if you want to make an audio recording of the birth.” The only thing worse than a live video of the birth would be just a soundtrack of me screaming, with out visuals for reference.
LOL!
My daughter is a contact sport all her own.
I have yet to have an actual pre-birth class. I had to move at 7 months along in my first pregnancy and the first hospital wouldn’t let you take the classes until you were 8 months along and the second hospital wouldn’t let you take a class after the 7th month…
Second pregnancy they assumed I knew what I was doing…
I am going to suggest a water birth if you can get one. I had a water birth with my second and the pain was non-existent.
Those are some crazy warnings and suggestions! What were they thinking?
Oh my! I totally had to laugh at #3. HEHEHEHE
Congratulations, by the way!
Since I am a guy…I am going to suggest nothing but support…
🙂
Is this what they give you? This is what I have to look forward to? Hmmm…I’m wondering what Australia has to offer their Mums to be. Might be just as entertaining, or more so considering I am American. Well, only one way to find out…must have a baby first. Until then, I have you to learn from!
Giggle! THose are so totally funny! Thanks for the laugh!