This morning I was reading through the piles of papers the nurse gave me after my OBGYN appointment yesterday.
You know, information about the hospital, tests I need to have, information about pregnancy.
None of it’s really news to me since this isn’t my first time around the maternity ward. But some of the stuff just struck me as funny.
1. “Avoid lifting more than 20 pounds.” I have a 3 year old that weighs 44 lbs. Three year olds are not easily avoided.
2. “Discontinue participation in all contact sports.” Oh, man! No more women’s roller derby for me.
3. “Notify the doctor if you experience severe swelling of the upper body.” Maybe they should should be more clear about what they mean by “swelling”.
4. “Notify the doctor if you experience sudden weight gain.” Huh?
5. The hospital offers a class called All Day Lamaze. Well, perhaps the monotony and duration of it more closely simulates real labor.
6. A sign of pre-term labor is listed as, “A general feeling that something is not right.” I have that feeling often. Usually when my son is playing in his room, and it’s too quite.
7. On the list of things to bring to the hospital, “A blank cassette tape if you want to make an audio recording of the birth.” The only thing worse than a live video of the birth would be just a soundtrack of me screaming, with out visuals for reference.