Confessions of an Introvert

I don’t mind being alone.

In fact I kind of enjoy it.

I really don’t like being in a big group, especially if it’s with a bunch of people I’ve never met.

I just don’t know what to do in a crowd like that. I get all tongue tied and can’t think of anything to talk about except the weather, then I worry that I’m totally lame, and decide I should just shut up, and listen to everyone else.

I’m a really, really good listener.

I can handle maybe three or four good friends at a time.

I don’t make friends easily. Not because I don’t want too. Mostly because I’m terrible at making small talk and conversation.

Sometimes after I’ve met someone new and dumbly smiled and nodded, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and think of a question I should have asked them or a funny comment I should have made.

I always wanted to be the popular girl, miss congeniality, the prom queen, but that’s hard to do when you’re busy being the wall flower.

I’m also intimidated by popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen.

But if popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen really make an effort to befriend me and they’re sincere, we can be life-long chums. See forced into a group of strangers with popular girl, miss congeniality, or the prom queen at my side is like being armed with a gun at a knife fight. It gives me a certain social courage I lack on my own.

I used to think there was something wrong with me.

Then I realized I was just an introvert. And I wasn’t the only introvert. There are a lot us, and God wouldn’t have created so many of us it we were all broken. We have as much to offer as popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen.

Like I said I’m a really good listener.

I could sit and listen to you talk about yourself, your life, your problems for hours. And I won’t give you a bunch of unsolicited advice and opinions. If you really push me, I ‘ll give you my very brief and carefully worded thoughts.

Because I spend most of my time observing people, I can read people really well too. If I do pick you to be my friend, there’s a very high probability that you’re a good egg and we’ll be friends for a long time.

Sometimes I read people so well I know more about why you do the things you do than you do.

But like I said I won’t tell you unless you drag it out of me.

My biggest challenge right now?

My son is nothing like me.

He’s a hardcore extrovert.

He can’t stand to be alone. Doesn’t like silence. Loves attention. Talks continuously.

It can be draining for an introvert to spend a lot of time with an extrovert like my son, because everything they do is totally out of our comfort zone.

When I just need a few minutes of silence, alone with my thoughts, I can’t get it. His personality can be like nails on a chalk board some days.

My son also loves to talk to strangers.

Stranger Danger means nothing to him.

That forces me to talk to strangers too. Anywhere and everywhere we go.

I hate talking to strangers.

Sometimes when he starts saying hello to everyone in the grocery store, I want to crawl into the freezer and bury myself under the frozen peas.

My son is also my greatest blessing.

He’s forced me to talk to people I never would have otherwise. And sometimes that makes me realize I do have something interesting to say, and I should say it more often.

His effervescence forces me outside of myself when I’d be happy to spend all day with Me, Myself and I and our pithy thoughts.

He stretches me, and it’s good for me.

I’m an introvert and it’s O.K.

But flexing my social muscle, even if it burns a little at first, usually feels pretty good in the end too.