Have you heard? They’ve come up with a cure for a serious medical condition that thousands of women all over the world suffer from and live with on a daily basis.
Breast Cancer? Heart Disease? Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?
Oh, no. Something far more dire.
S.S.E.S. (Pronounced sees)
Short Stubby Eyelash Syndrome.
That’s right ladies. No longer do you need to burden yourself with those heavy, clumpy lash-extending and thickening mascaras. No longer do you need to feel ashamed, forced to go out in public with sparse eyelashes, pierced by the horrified glances of onlookers.
That’s right. Now there is a miracle drug called Latisse. In just 12 to 16 weeks Lastisse can cure your S.S.E.S. At last you can be free from the pain of living daily with the knowledge that your eyelashes lack that come-hither look.
ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!
I almost fell off the couch the first time I saw the commercial with Brooke Shields advertising Latisse. And yes, it’s for real.
The Latisse that is.
S.S.E.S., well I just made that up.
According to the Latisse website the condition is actually called Hypotrichosis and is defind as, “having inadequate or not enough eyelashes.”
The fact that there is even a medical name for that condition is utterly ridiculous. Not to mention that the drug company spent how much money researching and developing Latisse? They tell us that the reason why the drugs that Grandpa, who is on a fixed income, takes for his heart condition cost so much is because they spend big bucks researching cures for things like ALS and Ahlzheimer’s.
Nope. Instead they’ve been curing Hypotrichosis.
How vain, how frivolous do you have to be to actually pay for a prescription drug that makes your eyelashes grow?
As if injecting botulism laden Botox into your face to take away the wrinkles in your forehead and render you expressionless wasn’t absurd enough.
Great Lash Mascara. It’s like $5.95 or something at Walmart people.
The kicker is that they chose Brooke Shields, the woman who is famous for her bushy eyebrows and Calvin Klein jeans, as their spokesperson. I am I somehow supposed to feel sorry for her life long plight with Hypotrichosis?
Wonder what Tom Cruise thinks about her using Latisse?
In the comments Amanda pointed out to me that there are people such as cancer patients who loose their eyelashes from chemotherapy that really would benefit from this. I didn’t think about that, and she’s right. I’m glad she reminded me of that. They shouldn’t market it as a cosmetic with a super model spokesperson who’s eyelashes were just fine to begin with.