I don’t want to be here today.The last few days it’s been an effort to be Mom.
I don’t want to change another diaper. I don’t want to figure out what to feed the boys. I don’t want to wash bottles or play hide and seek.
I don’t really even want to blog.
You know what I want to do?
I want to lay on the couch, and watch hours of reality TV repeats on Bravo. Uninterrupted.
When I worked in an office before I had kids, there were days I didn’t want to be at work. Even if you love your job, it happens.
I could “phone it in” at the office. My job was mostly self-directed. So if I was tired or distracted, I kept busy with some mindless task like scanning (That was way back in 2004 when photos still came printed on paper) and processing new product photos in Photoshop. I pointed and clicked, eyes glazed over, my mind somewhere else. Eventually the clock hit five, and I went home.
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If I really, really didn’t want to be a work, I called in sick and played hookie.
Mom can’t call in sick. I’m already at work when I wake up in the morning.
Mom can’t “phone it in”. Children must be dressed, feed, supervised, entertained lest the the house be turned upside down, or worse, someone gets hurt. Their needs don’t stop just because I’m having a bad day.
Being Mom doesn’t end when the clock strikes five. Mom doesn’t even get a lunch break.
Most of the time I enjoy being Mom.
But the last three days I’ve just had enough.
Every time I hear, “Mooooom!” I want to pull my hair out. I long for nap time to come, and dread the sounds of waking children an hour or two later.
Right now it’s overcast, and I’m hoping that it’s raining when the boys wake up, so we don’t have to go outside to play.
I don’t know the cause of my melancholy.
The kids aren’t being uncooperative. I’m not overly tired. My husband is helpful and supportive as always. I’m not stressed.
When I have days like this I pray.
A lot.
Sometimes minute by minute just to get from one moment to the next.
“Lord, help me get through the day. Help me not lose it during Candy Land, because the kid won’t follow the rules. Help me find the will to make dinner. Help me find the pacifier so the baby will stop crying. Please let Spongebob be on so David will sit still and be quiet for 20 minutes.”
Maybe this is His way of drawing me closer. Teaching me to rely on Him.
I don’t know.
I do know I made it through Saturday and Sunday. I’m halfway through today. Tomorrow, I think, will be better.
I’m already feeling a little better.
Blogging is nothing, if not therapeutic.
And the praying helps too.
But I’m still wishing for that rain.
Photo used under Creative Commons License.
All moms get a case of the “burn outs” here and there. We don’t need an excuse. it’s normal!
*HUGS*
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..♥Owwwwiieeeee My nose is broken 🙁 =-.
Dude, me too! I just got done stressing out over a birthday party (finally over! Woo!) and I was dying to call off today. I was even trying to think of a sitter where I could drop off my Precious One for awhile just so I could vegetate on the couch for a few hours. I can’t remember the last time I did it. But here I am pushing through the day. At least it’s nap time 🙂
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..a very merry first birthday =-.
I’m so sorry Colleen. I felt that way last couple days. Kids stayed home sick today. I put on a movie so I could get a break. How can you build in a break? You don’t have to play. Go easy on yourself when you need to.
.-= Mary@Everyday Baby Steps´s last blog ..I’m a Tropicana Juicy Rewards Insider! =-.
Thanks Mary! I ended up coming down with a sore throat this afternoon, so that explains some of my blahs. And did take your advice and take it easy.
WOW I felt like this last week. I love my boys but I just was so emotional and every little thing drove me crazy. I was so sick of being stuck in the house, boys are always crazy and I just get so tired of cleaning, cooking {things that they don’t eat} and entertaining…we all have those day{s}. Hopefully when the sun finally comes out it will make us all feel a little better!
Great blog – I am now your newest follower 🙂
Umm, YES! I think we all go through days like that! Here’s a virtual hug from me! Hope you feel better tomorrow!
Wait! You’re supposed to dress your kids? I don’t always do that, sometimes they wear the same clothes a couple days in a row! Don’t tell anyone, though!
I am lucky that I can have the oldest watch his little brother, so I can have some peace and quiet sometimes.
.-= Nancy M.´s last blog ..Building A Shop =-.
Sounds like you need some chocolate. 🙂 I keep a stash on hand for days like that. I’ve had quite a few of them lately too. I am so ready for spring and sunshine and flip flops, I can’t even tell ya. A little sunshine and letting the kids play outside does a lot for my mommy well-being.
Hope your day is better tomorrow!
Yeah. Lately it’s been the rain that’s been assisting putting me in a similar mood. And Anna (my 4 yo) is getting rather insistent about certain things, and saying things over and over. So, I hear you.
“Lord, somtimes I don’t like what I’m going through- the hard timse I face. Yet, I believe You’re using them to make me into the woman You want me to be. And so, I choose to trust You! Amen”
I didn’t write the prayer but it hangs on my bathroom mirror for exactly the reason you wrote about! How honest and how true it is. Thanks for putting it out there and letting us know that we are not alone in loving and hating our jobs at the same time some days.
Stacey that’s great prayer. I think I need to hang that in my bathroom too!
Yes we’ve had cloudy, damp weather for days. It really does affect your mood. The sun is out this morning, and what a difference it makes.
Sunshine helps a lot. We’re finally getting some today after a week of clouds. I’m so ready for summer!
Nancy that made me laugh! I’m guilty of that too. Hey, it’s less laundry to do!
Tina thanks for following. The sun is out today, and it really makes a difference in my mood.
I have been there many times! In our family we call it a “frumpy day” or “days”….and everyone has them sometimes. I hope yours pass soon!
.-= Tracie´s last blog ..-Why the New York Times Can Kiss My Blogging *SS! =-.
I’ve been in this mood for weeks now. In my case though it’s being exhausted since the child has decided being awake at 2 am and staying awake for many hours is the new norm.
Hope you are feeling better tomorrow!
Stopping by from SITS
Cheers 🙂
– CoconutPalmDesigns
.-= CoconutPalmDesigns´s last blog ..The Martini and The Sailboat =-.
I completely agree with you!! Being a mother is a 24 hour a day job, and sometimes, I really wish I had a sick day or some vacation hours to use!! HA!! 🙂
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Have You Ever?… =-.
oh boy do i understand this. i hope things are going better b/c that is a hard place to be. being mom is a hard, hard job. you’re doing a great job, friend! hang in there.
Ah, thanks Mindy. I am better mentally today. I have a cold, now but I don’t feel like I’m going crazy anymore.
I’ve had many days like this. Being a mom is very hard!
.-= jackie´s last blog ..Fun with my son! =-.
Every one has days like these! Totally! Get dad to take the kids for the afternoon tomorrow hile you pamper yourself with some reality tv, a bubble bath, and a nap.
I’m a new follower from Friday Follow, follow be back if you can! Nice to meet you!
Lindsey
I know exactly how you feel.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Healing Hearts =-.