I wrote a book.
OK, not really.
But I did come up with a book title, and some chapter titles.
Book Title: The Fog of Motherhood
Chapter 1: The Only Thing Going Green in My House is Last Week’s Leftovers in My Fridge.
Chapter 2: Life Doesn’t Come Pureed. Sometimes You Gotta Chew Up the Chunks.
Chapter 3: The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence Until You have to Mow It.
Chapter 4: Whoever Wrote that Song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” Didn’t have Children.
Chapter 5: Moms Should get Sick Days in the Health Care Reform Bill.
Chapter 6: I Used to Think I was Screwing up my Kid. Now I Realize I’m just Giving Him Good Material for His Memoir.
Chapter 7: Rule Number #5: Always Keep Your Pants On.
Chapter 8: Never Have Your Picture Taken with the Leader of a Radical Political Group because Someday when You Run for Drain Commissioner Someone Will Find It and Publish It on the Internet
O.K. So, who wants to give me a book deal?
What? No bidding war?
Someday this will be on the New York Times Best Seller List.
Just as soon as I fill in all the words between the titles.
I can’t decide which chapter I want to read first…or maybe I’ll write my own. It will be “Top ten reasons why you should lock your door once your 3 year old learns how to open it”
I’m loving this book. It really would be a best seller!