1. Stop licking your feet.
2. Wipe your butt in the bathroom, not the hallway.
3. You can’t have anymore ice cream until you put your pants on.
4. Do not lick your brother.
5. Keep the banana away from the dogs.
6. David, get off the guitar!
7. Don’t put your bother in a box.
8. NO! Don’t use the dog’s foot for a teething ring!
9. You do not talk about your penis at Sunday School.
10. As far as bodily fluids go, I think I’d rather be pooped on than puked on. It’s easier to clean up.
Yes, all these statements came out of either my mouth or my husband’s over the last 5 1/2 years.