Menu
This Michigan Life
  • Shop
  • Contact
    • Media Kit
  • About
    • Privacy Policy
  • Memories
  • Recipes
  • Travel
  • Michigan
This Michigan Life

Things Only A Parent Would Say

Posted on July 30, 2010January 2, 2011

1. Stop licking your feet.

2. Wipe your butt in the bathroom, not the hallway.

3. You can’t have anymore ice cream until you put your pants on.

4. Do not lick your brother.

5. Keep the banana away from the dogs.

6. David, get off the guitar!

7. Don’t put your bother in a box.

8. NO! Don’t use the dog’s foot for a teething ring!

9. You do not talk about your penis at Sunday School.

10. As far as bodily fluids go, I think I’d rather be pooped on than puked on. It’s easier to clean up.

Yes, all these statements came out of either my mouth or my husband’s over the last 5 1/2 years.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • Print
  • Email

16 thoughts on “Things Only A Parent Would Say”

  1. melissa says:
    July 30, 2010 at 11:43 am

    hahahaha!!
    i always say that it’s amazing, the things that come out of our kids mouths but sometimes it’s even more amazing what comes out of our own mouths!!

    Reply
  2. Luschka @ Diary of a First Child says:
    July 30, 2010 at 11:57 am

    Lol – that’s funny. My husband turned to me the other day and said ‘you know it’s not normal to talk freely about boobs all the time, right?’ – had to laugh

    Reply
  3. MommyLisa says:
    July 30, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Please stop grabbing mommy’s boobs.

    Reply
  4. Stacie says:
    July 30, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Oh my gosh these are so classic! Thanks for making me smile this morning!!!

    Reply
  5. Roxane says:
    July 30, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Just today I told my 3yo to stop licking the tv and his sister was not a toy. I am totally sympathetic to your list. I think I’ve said most of those things once within the past week 😉

    Reply
  6. Leslie @ crunchybetty.com says:
    July 30, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Ha! Love these! What a great way to end the week.

    Reply
  7. alison says:
    July 30, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    i love this list! i hear myself say statements like those…and then i wonder what a non-parent would think if they happened to overhear me. i’m sure i’d be getting alot of head shaking and mumblings of “those people are nuts”!

    Reply
  8. Shairbearg says:
    July 30, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    I don’t know how many times I’ve said “No, we don’t play with each other’s penises!”

    Stop pushing your brother over, it’s not funny, either of you!! (they were both laughing so hard when the older one was pushing the younger one over).

    No, Jack, you can’t nurse your baby brother so stop pushing his face into your chest!

    Reply
  9. Shell says:
    July 30, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    LOL Sad, but I’ve said quite a few of these!

    Reply
  10. Sarah says:
    July 30, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    The cat is not a dollie, take the dress off her!

    Put the cookies away, it’s only 8am.

    Just because you squeezed into it, it doesn’t mean it fits you.

    Reply
  11. Kristina Churchill says:
    August 1, 2010 at 9:58 am

    So funny!
    How about stop licking the dog!
    Yes mommie and daddie want some private time, Katy,” To Kiss”, Yuck! Screaming around the house saying Gross, in her loudest voice.
    Penis…not a play thing!
    Don’ pee on your sister, or the dog!
    Don’t pull the wings of the butterfly!

    I find myself writing these down now. In years they will even be more funny!
    Great post: stop by mine if you have a chance
    Stopped by from SITS!
    http://www.katynikitachurchill.blogspot.com

    kristina

    Reply
  12. Barb says:
    August 1, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Funny! And if you were to say those things in public to your child no one would think twice. Try to say any of those to an adult in public. Good times!

    Reply
  13. Nancy M. says:
    August 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    I know! There are things I never would have thought I would’ve said before I had kids!

    Reply
  14. Barb J. says:
    August 2, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    Wow, those look very familiar. I think I’ve said most of them at one time or another, lol.

    Reply
  15. Kristy says:
    August 3, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Great list! Just yesterday, I said, Don’t stick your finger in your butt. Yikes.
    http://www.pampersandpinot.com

    Reply
  16. Pingback: Things Only a Parent Would Say – Part 2

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let’s Connect

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Let’s Connect

Copyright This Michigan Life 2020
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT