It’s political season again. I’ve already had my fill of pundits and cable news. Let’s get it over with already.
In honor of election day coming up, here’s an oldy, but a goody I posted last year (That translates to I’m sicker than a dog, and can’t come up with anything new.) after Obama’s inauguration. I realize POTUS isn’t too popular with the crowd these days, but have no fear. This letter really doesn’t have anything to do with politics anyway.
Dear President Obama,
I just wanted to write and congratulate you on becoming President of the United States. I know it’s not always an easy road for people like us. We spend our whole lives being marginalized. Told we’re doing it backwards. We’re doing it wrong. We should be doing it like “them.”
You’re not the first. There were a handful of other presidents that preceded you. But I don’t think America was ready to accept our unique difference then. Perhaps now, in this new era of hope and change, people will finally hear our voice, and see what we can contribute to this Great Land. We are, after all, the only people in our right minds.
I was so excited January 20th when I saw you pick up that pen and sign your first official presidential document with your left hand. Oh, to have an advocate in the white house!
I certainly hope that you will add left-handed reform to your agenda. May I be so bold to suggest a few policy changes for you to consider?
- No Left-Handed Child Left Behind – All lefties will be taught to write by another lefty. They will not be forced to learn to use their right hand. Nor will they be made to twist and contort their left hand so that it appears they are writing upside down.
- Equality in Spiral Bound Notebooks – All paper companies shall be required to either bind their spiral notebooks at the top, or produce notebooks with the binding on the left as well as notebooks with the binding on the right.
- The Fair Seating Act– Schools, colleges and universities must provide table-like desks rather than those right-handed desks attached to chairs.
- Funding for left-handed retraining to cope with all the changes– I spent so many years forced to use right-hand scissors with my left hand, when I finally acquired a pair of left-handed scissors, I couldn’t use them.
Oh, there is so much more than this Mr. President. Everything from musical instruments, to sports, to automobiles are backwards for lefties like us. Some things we can change. Some we will simply have to continue to learn to adapt to.
But let us proudly raise our ink and pencil smeared left hands in unity even as we reach out our other hands to our fellow righties. For only together can we accomplish this noble task set before us.
On The Same Side,