2. You won’t get a headache from the deadly scent cocktail created when the aromas in Bath and Body Works and The Yankee Candle Company mingle in the hallway.
3. A cup of coffee from home doesn’t cost $3.50.
4. People who work at the Disney Store are way too freakin’ happy.
5. You won’t get all hot and sweaty walking around pushing a stroller full of shopping bags in the cable knit, wool sweater that you wore because it’s only 25 degrees outside. Oh, my word! Why is it always hotter than a burning Yule log in the mall?
6. No incessant bell ringing outside every store. Seriously, I will give you all the money I have if you’ll just STOP ringing that blasted bell!
7. No waiting in line behind the person who still writes checks. It’s the 21st century. Get a Debit card!
8. You don’t have to take off your ratty pajama pants and fuzzy slippers.
9. At home you can choose not to listen to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.
10. The UPS guy kind of looks like George Clooney.