I mentioned in passing the other day that I don’t camp.
I stay in hotels.
Preferably ones that have in-room coffee makers, complimentary hair dryers and toiletries that are worth stealing.
I thought I’d elaborate on why you won’t find me shacking up in a tent, or tooling around in an RV any time soon.
1. I believe access to a full-sized, flush-able toilet that is plumbed to a sewage source that is not self-contained is a basic necessity of life.
2. I love my children. BUT, I do not want to be that close to them when we are sleeping. A co-sleeping parent I am not.
4. The Great Outdoors is made even greater by one’s ability to enjoy it for a little while then go back into the Great Indoors where it’s air conditioned and mosquito-free.
5. If I have to do that much walking, I’d rather be hiking through the mall.
7. A canoe is not a reliable form of transportation. Especially if I’m paddling it.
8. How can you know for sure the people in the next tent over aren’t serial killers on the lam?
9. I think Kumbaya sounds just as nice sung around a flat screen TV as it does around a campfire.