Since so many of you are camping this weekend I thought I’d revisit this post from last summer:
I mentioned in passing the other day that I don’t camp.
I stay in hotels.
Preferably ones that have in-room coffee makers, complimentary hair dryers and toiletries that are worth stealing.
I thought I’d elaborate on why you won’t find me shacking up in a tent, or tooling around in an RV any time soon.
1. I believe access to a full-sized, flush-able toilet that is plumbed to a sewage source that is not self-contained is a basic necessity of life.
2. I love my children. BUT, I do not want to be that close to them when we are sleeping. A co-sleeping parent I am not.
3. Bears.
4. The Great Outdoors is made even greater by one’s ability to enjoy it for a little while then go back into the Great Indoors where it’s air conditioned and mosquito-free.
5. If I have to do that much walking, I’d rather be hiking through the mall.
6. Bears.
7. A canoe is not a reliable form of transportation. Especially if I’m paddling it.
8. How can you know for sure the people in the next tent over aren’t serial killers on the lam?
9. I think Kumbaya sounds just as nice sung around a flat screen TV as it does around a campfire.
10. Bears.
You are certainly a product of your upbringing. Since your father and I never took you camping in your entire childhood. Running kids camp in Ohio and going to Family Camp Meeting (where we stayed in the lodge ) was about as close to camping we ever got. At the church camp grounds we did have running water and showers. Although the dorms were wooden, had electric lights, beds, and fans.You have to admit all those vacations you used to complain about that we always visited so many museums was a lot better than camping outside. We did the state park scenes and visited places in the great outdoors; just at night we stayed in motels. Now that we’re taking our grandkids places we still aren’t planning on going camping.
You seriously crack me up!!! Bears??!!! Oh my!! We camp alot on our farm land. Mostly because the house is still under construction, so we can’t use it yet. Ha! But, the kids love it.
i’m going canoeing this weekend…..and i’ve yet to convince myself that it is anywhere NEAR a good idea. mainly because i don’t drink anymore and when we used to go, i’d be plastered and therefore running the canoe into trees or flipping it over and smashing your face on the bottom of the creek didn’t hurt as much. basically i’m thinking that i’m going to need to take some preemtive aspirin and hope for the best.
I’m so the opposite. I’ve had to drag myself – nearly kicking and screaming – home from every camping trip I’ve taken this summer. I can’t wait to go back – soon. 🙂
Roughing it is a Holiday Inn without soap. ‘Nuff said. 😉
I think that you and I may have been separated at birth! I’m a non-camper too. The closest I ever came to camping was staying in a hotel in London where you had to walk down the hall to use the bathroom. For the record, it was in college and my then boyfriend, who was totally cheap, booked this poor excuse for a hotel.
Never again. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I might possibly be capable of camping during the day as long as I am able to retire for the evening portion in a hotel. Then ya know, back to camp after a good shower and clean clothes and lotions and soaps and luxury treatments.
Um, yeah. I hear you. And I live in Colorado, where I think it might be law that you have to love to camp. I do not.
Although the bears don’t bother me much (they hang out on corners playing guitars and begging for money up in the mountain town my parents live in), the toilet thing always will. Forever.
Long live flushing.
I wholeheartedly agree! Camping for me is done in the Comfort Inn. I can rough it like that.
I love camping, my hubby not so much.
I do have to say most of your reasoning I can understand, but where do you think you are going camping that you are going to come across that many bears???? Seriously, we camped a lot as a kid, and not once did I see a bear! Raccoons, deer, fox, birds, yes, even a moose once, but never, not once, a bear 😛
You crack me up! I’ve done the whole camping (tent and camper) routine, but I finally found my type of camping. It’s called glamping! Check this out. http://www.pawsup.com/resort/glamping-luxury-camping-tent-city.php
i am not a fan of camping either. i’ve been rv camping twice but never tent camping. i’d rather just sleep in a real bed and have a real bathroom.
Agreed! Bears!!!!! 😉
I do not camp. It feels dirty. We build houses and hotels so we don’t have to camp.
You had me rolling!! Oh my word that was funny! You’d think that you would be a serious person from your upbringing, but your humor just got me laughing in hysterics! I mean, every single one of your reasons is legit and I agree. I grew up in Maine. That’s like camping your entire life. I worked hard to get a house and a bed, why would I voluntarily go sleep on pine needles?
There aren’t many women out there that don’t like camping. And if they don’t, they are afraid to tell people! I have to share this post with my friend who shares our love of NOT camping! Peace out boys, have fun running from bears!
I enjoyed your blog so much! I loved reading your “about me” story. Your oldest son sounds like my only son who is 4. Serious, strong willed, spirited, and tender hearted. They are a blessing and a challenge as you said!
seriously!!!! this is me too! and i worry about #8 too! i would have to add SNAKES to my list too. i’m not a camper. i’ve done it and i don’t really want to again. i totally get this!
That is great. Just great. Now – a week after I get back from camping – you make me think of bears. Not that I’ve heard of any sightings around here as of late… but still. Oh yeah, and I’m now a product of not wearing the appropriate spray/lotion/anything else for those pesky mosquito bites. Fun.
Did I mention that I am really a hotel-type girl too. Why I went camping is beyond me. I think maybe to experience my childhood again. {note to self: don’t}
You’ve hit the nail on the head! I love not camping.
Another reason for me is that I detest the smell of a campfire. It’s so stinky.
When you were in Tennessee, and went out to the park,
that is where the bears are. We were told by friends of Kirk T. to go out after six to see them. Of course
Dennis & Cherie wanted to go. We got into a traffic jam & spent 2 and one half hours getting back. Everybody would stop every time a leaf moved. But
the bears had enough sense to stay in. One of he
people who told us where and when to go, walked up on a bear just 3 weeks before.
And next time you come down, we will go to the RV
and MH Hall of Fame. Went through it 2 weeks ago.
Your mother got to rest a lot while I took it all in.
Amen, sister! you are a girl after my own heart. Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend.
You’re making me laugh a lot this morning! We camp in Australia ( I secretly hate it, but the menfolk like to get their kicks this way) no bears, but we do have taipans, redbacks, crocodiles, pythons and tarantulas. I’m with you in the hotel, wearing white.
I almost choked when I read #5! This is so funny! Bears are terrifying. I will go camping, but there has to be a bathroom available with indoor plumbing and there absolutely has to be a playground for my kids. Even then, it’s a bit of a stretch for me. I love your honesty. You’re absolutely hysterical. 🙂
I have to confess that I wrote that post four years ago, and I do go camping now! But I still have limits. We have a pop-up camper, so we’re not sleeping in a tent on the ground. I won’t camp anywhere that doesn’t have plumbed toilets and showers, and no camping where there are bears!
Love it! I actually wrote a post about camping last year some time. My family looked at me with pleading eyes and begged to go camping. I went and it wasn’t completely awful. 🙂 It was not in an area with bears, though so… And yes, showers. That is a non-negotiable!