David got one of those Smurf toys with his Happy Meal on Sunday, and then this happened.
David: What smurf is this?
Me: Let me see it. It says Jokey.
David: What’s the one I have at home already? Oh, it’s Oopsy.
Me: No, you have Clumsy Smurf at home.
David: No it’s not. It’s Oopsy!
Me: No it’s not Oopsy. Oopsy is a Care Bear. Clumsy is a Smurf.”
As I heard that last sentence come out of my mouth I silently asked myself, “Why do I know this?”
Why do I remember names of Smurfs and Care Bears when I can’t remember the name of the lady who stops me in church every Sunday to tell me how adorable Wade is, and how much she loves watching him in the nursery?
Why do I know the lyrics and dance moves to Rock-a-bye the Bear when I couldn’t tell you the title of one popular radio song right now?
Why do I know how to fix a broken toy train, but I can’t change a tire?
Because my mind is cluttered up with all that other information, useful to no one but a mom. This idea of “mommy brain”, that moms have mush for brains, that we’re somehow fried from the hardships of parenting? Well it turns out that’s not the case at all. It’s just that we have so much other random, miscellaneous, albeit important, stuff inside our heads there isn’t room for anything else!
David was only in kindergarten last year, and already I was expected to remember that Cindy B. was sensible Cindy, Cindy P. was high-maintenance Cindy, and Cindy H. was too good for anyone. Also Tim was the kid who was always in trouble, Pete was the kid who always got David in trouble and Jason, Tom and Fred were his best friends. Madeline and Carry wanted to be his girlfriends, and Mary was his girlfriend, but she’s not anymore because now she’s James’ girlfriend. And if I didn’t remember all these important facts during our bedtime conversations about his friends, David got very upset with me.
Yeesh! And you people with girls think you’re the only ones with drama to deal with.
But do you see? How can I possibly keep all of that straight along with the Smurfs and the Care Bears, and still be expected to remember that the electric bill is due on the 22nd, David needs to take pipe cleaners to school on Wednesday and the capital of Switzerland is —
Wait a minute while I Google it…
So if you talk to me, my eyes might glaze over and I might get that distant look in my eye. I don’t mean to be rude. It’s just that I’m busy going over the words to the Phineas and Ferb theme song in my head, so I remember it when my son asks me to sing it to him later.
Also don’t ask me what I had for breakfast.
I can’t remember, because while I was eating I was busy studying a schematic for building a race track in the living room .