I’m privileged.
Oh, you wouldn’t think so if you saw the rusty, dented 2001 Ford minivan I drive around. The inside of it doesn’t look any better with its mosaic of milk splatters, crayon scribbles and ground-in Goldfish crackers. If you took a peek at our 2011 tax return you might wonder how a family of four manages to survive on such meager earnings. We don’t even own the house we live in, the pinnacle of the American middle class dream.
I’m one of only 5 million stay-at-home-moms in the U.S.. I’m not wealthy, but I live a life luxury.
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines luxury as a condition of great ease and comfort; something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary; an indulgence in something that provides pleasure, satisfaction, or ease.
My being at home provides ease and comfort to my children who almost always have a parent immediately available to them. It provides ease and comfort to my husband who knows his children are well-cared for at home by their mother when he’s at work. It provides ease and comfort to me, because I don’t have the added stress of outside demands on my life.
My being at home isn’t absolutely necessary. Millions of moms go to work every day, and their families survive.
My being at home is an indulgence in something that provides pleasure and satisfaction. I have a college degree. I could go to work, and take my kids to Disney World, buy a boat and shop at the expensive grocery store. Instead I indulge in the pleasure of taking them to the local park, and the satisfaction of watching them learn to ride a bike in the middle of a summer day.
My husband and I have a lifestyle that doesn’t require lots of money and material possessions. We drive old vehicles that are paid for. We don’t have a mortgage. My husband supports my desire to stay home. He doesn’t tell me to go out and get a job, so we can go on vacation more often to more glamorous locations. My other family even supports my decision to stay home. Not once have my parent’s asked why I’m not using the degree they helped pay for.
I’m privileged to be in this position where my choice is supported, and I’m able to stay home with my children.
Some women chose to work outside the home. Their family supports them too, and that’s their privilege and luxury.
Some women work outside the home because they must, and long for the privilege and luxury to stay home.
I wouldn’t trade the luxury of snuggling Wade every day after his nap or deep bedtime conversations about the universe with David for the Cadillac of minivans, a mansion with a 90210 address of a vacation home in Fiji.
This. Exactly this.
Right on, Sister!
I have a Master’s Degree and stay home by choice. My mother was a single mom who worked for 51 years straight….she didn’t have a choice.
Working moms and stay at home moms are all valuable and need to support one another.
Yes, that’s the thing that I can’t understand, all the fighting over it. Everyone has the right to make their own choice. Let’s just except each other, and get over it!
I love your attitude about this! Having been a work at home mom and a work outside the home mom, I can see the benefits of both situations. So many stay at home moms I know sell themselves short and don’t realize the joy that can be found in the mess.
There is a lot of joy to be found motherhood. I wish we could all stop fighting over who’s right and who’s wrong, and just be happy with whatever decision we make.
Amen. I can relate to pretty much every thing you said, including the paid for cars and no mortgage. My kids are now 18 and 21 and I don’t regret a single thing. I loved staying home with them, molding their character, and just plain enjoying them. My sis in law works outside the home, and a few times her small kids have asked me if I have a job. When we explain that I work at home, they roll their eyes. It hurts. How I wish all moms would support each other and their choices.
I wish we could just respect each other no matter choices we make.
I get it! I worked outside the home with my first son and it was hard. For my second, my husband and I sat down and made tough decisions about what it would take for me to stay at home. For me, it has been worth every sacrifice!
It is so worth it!
I currently stay at home, just as you do. We are also a family of four with meager earnings. We budget and that’s what makes it possible. I also have a four-year degree. I worked outside the home when my daughter was very young, but my hubby stayed home at the time. When I was pregnant with our son, I remember having to climb over him to get out of bed to dress and get ready for work. After our second was born, it was decided that I would stay home with both of them. I think it’s sad that some women are down on stay-at-home moms. I think it happens because of jealousy more than anything else. I don’t begrudge any other mom…whether she chooses to go to work, or has the ability to stay home.