When I Grow Up I Want to Major in Scandinavian Studies with a Minor in Latin

Like a lot of women my age I went to college, worked a few years then walked away from my cubicle to have a baby. I would still have it all, just not all at once.

Education, career, kids — then what? That’s the question I’m asking myself these days.

I’m done having babies. My oldest, David, is in school all day. Wade, my youngest, turns three tomorrow. In just two years he’ll be in school all day. What will I do in an empty house 8-10 hours a day?

Now, let’s get one thing clear. I’m not bemoaning my children getting older. I won’t cry — at least not for long — when little Wade heads off to his first day of kindergarten. I’m looking forward to:

F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Imagine me shouting that Braveheart-style — galloping on a horse, waving a flag and wearing a kilt.)

But what will I do with all that freedom?

Though my house could probably use it, I don’t want to spend it cleaning.

I can’t bake all day. I’d get fat.

I can’t sit on the couch all day and watch TV, because I hate daytime TV. And I’d get fat.

So far I just have one plan. Exercise regularly. So that I don’t get fat. That still leaves seven to nine hours to fill.

I have this blog. I’ve talked before about how I consider it my job, and when I did my taxes I realized it was pretty good to me last year. But it’s called MOMMIE daze. It won’t be long before no one calls me mommie anymore.

And maybe I want something more than a blog. Maybe I want — to put it in the words of everyone else who isn’t a blogger — a real job.

Part-time? Full-time? Work-at-home? Commute?

A job doing what?

On paper I’m qualified to be a newspaper journalist. Except newspapers are almost obsolete. When I was a reporter, I hated it. Turns out it’s a really bad job for an introvert who doesn’t like to talk to strangers.

My resume isn’t very impressive. I’ve been out of the working world for seven years. My after-college work history includes two jobs. I don’t have a clue where to find my first boss to ask him for a reference. My second boss always refused to give references when anyone called for one. Occasionally I work for my husband. Something tells me they wouldn’t accept him as a legitimate reference since we’re sleeping together.

Do I go back to school? Maybe that’s the answer. By the time both my boys are in school full time, my husband’s second go-around at college will be over. If we keep taking turns going back to school, we can just keep borrowing more and more money and perpetually deferring the enormous debt we owe the Federal government.

Maybe this is my chance to study in one of those fields everyone told me not to, because I’d never find a job. Art History, Theatre, Fashion Design, Horticulture.

Does anyone offer a masters in Social Media?

It’s good I have two more years to contemplate the second half of my life.

I never thought at 37 the question I’d be asking myself is, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”