If Motherhood Were an Olympic Sport

Motherhood isn’t on the docket for the 2012 London Olympics, but maybe we can get it added for 2016. Let’s petition the Olympic committee.  It should be a summer sport so we can go to a warm, sunny place. We don’t want to deal with all the nasty snow. Now, let’s talk about the events.

1. The 400 Meter Stroller Dash – Running from a mini-van into the mall in a rainstorm.

2. 100 Meter Toy Hurdle – Leaping over all the toys on the floor to get to the ringing phone.

3.  4×400 Meter Dirty Diaper Relay – Passing off a baby with a dirty diaper. The loser changes the diaper.

4. Juggling – Specifically making dinner, helping with homework and vacuuming all at the same time.

5. Bedtime Triathlon – Bathe, dress and tuck three children into bed as quickly as possible so you can watch Real Housewives on the DVR.

6. Weightlifting – Carrying as many loaded grocery bags as possible at one time.

7. Synchronized Diaper Changing with Quadruplets – Cloth and disposable categories.

8. Floor Exercise – Dancing around Legos barefoot in the dark on the way to the bathroom at 3 a.m.

9. High Jump – Attempting to reach the last box of cereal at the back of the very top shelf at the grocery store.

10. Marathon – Which competitor can stay awake the longest while rocking a colicky baby?

So, which event would you medal in?

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