Motherhood isn’t on the docket for the 2012 London Olympics, but maybe we can get it added for 2016. Let’s petition the Olympic committee. It should be a summer sport so we can go to a warm, sunny place. We don’t want to deal with all the nasty snow. Now, let’s talk about the events.
1. The 400 Meter Stroller Dash – Running from a mini-van into the mall in a rainstorm.
2. 100 Meter Toy Hurdle – Leaping over all the toys on the floor to get to the ringing phone.
3. 4×400 Meter Dirty Diaper Relay – Passing off a baby with a dirty diaper. The loser changes the diaper.
4. Juggling – Specifically making dinner, helping with homework and vacuuming all at the same time.
5. Bedtime Triathlon – Bathe, dress and tuck three children into bed as quickly as possible so you can watch Real Housewives on the DVR.
6. Weightlifting – Carrying as many loaded grocery bags as possible at one time.
7. Synchronized Diaper Changing with Quadruplets – Cloth and disposable categories.
8. Floor Exercise – Dancing around Legos barefoot in the dark on the way to the bathroom at 3 a.m.
9. High Jump – Attempting to reach the last box of cereal at the back of the very top shelf at the grocery store.
10. Marathon – Which competitor can stay awake the longest while rocking a colicky baby?
So, which event would you medal in?