You see them lurking everywhere this time of year. The Walmart parking lot, in front of the door at Sam’s Club, even the car wash. Their innocent faces and sweet smiles belie the treachery of the wares they hawk.
It’s a familiar path. You know once you start you won’t stop until you savor all the toothsome contents. You’re mind tells you to walk away, but your tongue tingles in anticipation. As if they’re not your own, you’re feet walk you over to the table of forbidden goods.
In the dark shadows of a big box store, the deal goes down. You slip them the cash, grab the packages and run for cover to your car. You look around to make sure no one is watching. Then safely concealed by your car’s tinted windows, unable to wait, you tear into the sweet, sweet parcel.
At home you toss the now empty box in the trash, burying it under the pizza box from last night to hide the evidence. The rest you stash in your underwear drawer. The children must never find them. The brown crumbs stuck in the corners of your mouth and minty smell on your breath are the only hints left to your saccharine secret.
The Thin Mints you bought 20 minutes ago from Girl Scout Troop Local 355 are no more.
Seriously what do those little girls put in their cookies? They’re so addictive. You can’t have just one or two or five. The government should put a warning on the boxes:
Surgeon General’s Warning: Girl Scout Cookies cause over-eating, loss of self-control and gluttony. They may complicate dieting.
If you’re lucky you have your own personal source. That gives you much easier access to the cookies. If you don’t, just ask your mom friends. Girl Scouts usually put their mothers to work dealing for them.
Make sure you stock up. Girl Scout Cookies go fast, and you can only get them once a year. When they’re off the market the street value on those babies goes way up. You don’t want to find yourself standing in someone’s garage over their deep freezer at three in the morning paying for Tag Alongs with money from your kid’s pawned video game system.
Disclaimer: Girl Scout Cookie addiction is a serious disease. If you think this may be you, please seek help. You can start by sending me your cookie stash.
It’s as if you took the cookies…err. words right out of my mouth!
The sad thing is that a factory that makes them is in my area. Thank God I can’t smell them as they are baking. It’s bad enough to drive by the Sarah Lee plant and smell fresh bread every day.
For me, it’s not the Do-Si-Dos. It is / was the American Samoas. You’re right. You open the box, and before you know it, those suckers are gone. I love them.
LOL! Thanks for a great laugh this morning! I have one unopened box of Samoas left that have been calling my name from the top shelf of my pantry. Wondering if my husband will realize it if it is gone when he comes back from his business trip. Hmmmm…
i too suffer from this addiction. it goes so far as to transforming my girlscout cookies into other edible items (truffles, cupcakes, etc) so that i dont feel so bad for eating the entire box in one sitting.
@skye, For some reason, I can’t bring myself to make things out of my girl scout cookies. I had my eye on some Thin Mint cupcakes, but it called for using the whole box. I just couldn’t bring myself to use the whole box even though I knew it would be yummy! Maybe next year, I will buy a box for the sole purpose of making cupcakes so it won’t be so hard! LOL!
mmmmmmmm…….thin mints………..
hahahahahahahahahahah!
Yep. I help feed your addiction. The bad thing about being the mom of a Girl Scout…no one questions when you order 10 boxes. “I’m just trying to help my daughter reach her goal!”
Haha they are addictive! I love samoas!
Amen sister! I can’t get enough of those Thin Mints – they really should be called “Fatty Mints” there ain’t no thin in those mints!!!!
The other day we passed by a little makeshift Girl Scout Cookie stand on the side of the road! Just like a lemonade stand but better! And my husband slammed on the brakes and turned back around so I could have my Tagalongs. Not the best decision making when cookies are at stake..
Dare I say this, but I’m not a big fan of Girl Scout cookies. I buy them every year in support of my colleagues’ daughter, but I don’t usually eat them. *shrug*
Seriously, what is it about Girl Scout cookies? Thank goodness they only sell them for part of the year (or maybe that’s the REAL problem…)
Ha ha! I just laughed out loud. You just described what every person thinks about GS cookies!
I’m pretty sure Girl Scout cookies are crack 🙂