Occasional Deep Thought: Standing on the Promises

The negative thoughts come so easily.

Why will it be any different this time? It doesn’t feel like He’s come through for us in the past, at least not in a big way. I know He can do it. But will He? He does it for other people, but not us. It’s just not meant to happen for us.

Then the promises flood my mind.

He has plans for us. To prosper and not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future.

Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge him, and he will make my paths straight.

He is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine.

I want to stand on the promises.

The words of that old hymn sung so many times as a child swirl in my head.

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

I can hear the old church piano clinking and the mis-matched voices of the congregation singing along.

Standing, standing,
Standing on the promises of God my Savior;
Standing, standing,
I’m standing on the promises of God.

I know. I know.

But I can’t quite believe.

In fifteen years Dave’s been laid off from two jobs and left a third because they were about to lay him off. He went back to school three and half years ago to hopefully secure a better future for us. We watched as our student loan debt doubled and the economy faltered and stalled.

Now Dave is graduating in a week and a half with a hard-earned, well-deserved, shiny if expensive, new degree.

The job search has been on in earnest for some time now. It’s difficult and discouraging. I can’t help but wonder, is there a job out there for my husband? A 36-year-old with a wife and kids and 15 years of work history, including running his own business, isn’t what employers look for when they hire new college graduates.  Neither is a new college graduate what employers look for when hiring a seasoned professional.

Add to that to that the hundreds of thousands competing for a few jobs in a dismal job market, and the outlook is fair at best.

I feels like it’s always been hard. It feels like it’s hard now. I feels like it always will be hard.

And the doubt sets in.

Lord, we need a miracle.

A miracle.

Will you do that for us? 

It’s just that it sort of seems like you don’t do things like that for us based on, you know, the past.

I’m not asking for a lot. Just a job that pays enough to cover the rent, buy groceries, drive a car that doesn’t need repaired every other week, and maybe enough left over to take the kids to Disney World.

Is it wrong to want those things? Am I being greedy? Do I expect too much?

We’re willing to go just about anywhere. Do anything. If you’ll just do something. 

Please. Do something for us. 

You say you have a plan for a hope and a future for us. I know what I think, what I want, but I’m trying to lean on you. Lead us to the right path. My our path straight. I know you’re more powerful than I can even imagine. Show us that power.

Help me believe. Help me trust. Help me stand on the promises. 

Your promises.