Once in a while I like to let you know what this blog is all about. Maybe you’re new here. Maybe you forgot. Maybe I just like to ramble on in the written word. (I do. I really do.) So today I thought I’d tell you what you can expect from this blog by telling you what you won’t read on here.
1. Advice for changing your curtains seasonally. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I have one set of curtains for each room, and they don’t come down unless the boys are rough-housing and pull them down. I am proud that the creases from being folded in packaging when they were new have almost come out of the living room curtains without steaming or ironing. It only took four years.
2. Recipes that call for Celtic sea salt. Does it sing Danny Boy and play the fiddle? I don’t discriminate against sea salt based on origin. The stuff that comes in its own plastic grinder is as high-brow as it gets around here.
3. That you should never tell your child to, “hurry up,” because it kills his soul. Are you kidding me?! It kills my soul when he misses the bus, and I have to drive him and deal with the crazy of the school parking lot in the morning.
4. How to whittle your weekly grocery budget down to one penny using a million coupons and store loyalty programs. There’s too much math and strategic planning involved in that. And there’s no way I’m going to drag my four-year-old around to four of five different stores so he can beg for candy and cookies at every one.
5. Better ways to teach your child Spanish. To figure out how to do it better, I’d have to teach him Spanish poorly first. And that isn’t happening anytime soon. Comprende?
6. How to organize your massive flip-flop collection in magazine files by color. Who needs that many pairs of flip-flops?
Selfie with my fancy-pants non-celtic sea salt.
8. How to stand on your head on an exercise ball. I don’t have enough insurance, not even under Obamacare, to cover what would happen if I attempted that.
9. How to wash a bunch of Legos in your washing machine. If I have to start adding toys to my laundry pile, I quit!
10. Healthy trick-or-treat ideas, like handing out toothbrushes. Wanna get your house egged? You go ahead and try it.