Last year there was a huge backlash against Mother’s Day. People said it shouldn’t be celebrated, because any female can give birth. What’s so special about that? Others said it wasn’t fair to elevate one group of women, those with children, over another, those without. That’s all as full of bologna as the sandwich your mother packed in your lunch everyday.
Yes, most women, baring a medical condition, are able to become pregnant. If you’re one of those women fortunate to conceive easily and have problem-free pregnancies, well, that’s pretty much where the easy part of motherhood stops. Once that baby is in your arms the hard work of child rearing begins. If you struggled to become pregnant, suffered through a difficult pregnancy or went through the red-tape of adoption to become a mother, nothing about motherhood was easy for you. So it is hard, but there are a lot of hard jobs out there. That’s not why we celebrate Mother’s Day.
It’s true that motherhood doesn’t add up to Sainthood. Most moms simply do the best they can with what they have. And in all honesty there are days we feed our kids and take them to school out of nothing more than obligation, because we don’t have the energy for anything else. We all have bad days. Some moms have lots of bad days.
A woman with children is no more valuable a person to the world than a woman without. Is mom’s work important? Absolutely. She is raising the next generation of potential world-changers. Since we haven’t figured out how to grow humans entirely in a laboratory or invented robots that can make a boo-boo feel better with a kiss, we still need mothers in this world. There are also women without children doing valuable work feeding the poor, developing the next life-altering technology and curing cancer. Mother’s Day isn’t about society giving higher status to women with children.
Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be a collective, national holiday like Independence Day. It’s a personal holiday. And here’s a newsflash. Even if you personally are a mother, Mother’s Day isn’t about you. It’s about YOUR mom. The woman who changed your diapers, helped you make a diorama of the Alamo the day before it was due and hung on terrified to the dashboard when you were learning to drive. The women who chose to love you and didn’t throw you out of the house even though she took the brunt of your Middle School angst.
When we make Mother’s Day about us, who has kids, who doesn’t and who contributes more to society, we get it all wrong. It’s simply about saying thank you to the woman who made it possible for you to exist and or kept you alive until you were old enough to be responsible for your own well-being. To the world my mom isn’t anymore important than any of the other 7 billion people on this plant. But she means the world to me.
AMEN! Celebrating moms isn’t about creating yet another competition between women. Just because we honor those who are mothers doesn’t mean we’re slighting those who aren’t.
Mother’s Day is about mothers. I can agree that we can all celebrate that. When you struggle with infertility, though, it can be a very difficult thing. That is one thing that cannot be described to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. I have also had friends who have struggled with the alienation of their own mother, or feeling that they aren’t a good enough mother to their own children. Gosh, why does everything have to be so complicated! So, in response to your premise: I love my mom!! I owe so much in my life to her. Thank you for reminding me of that!
I agree with this. A day where we express thanks and gratitude, to whomever has been a positive, nurturing, sacrificial force in our lives, is a wonderful thing! As you said, it isn’t a personal holiday. I know it may be a rough day for women who long to be mothers and can’t, but as you said, even if we are mothers, it is mostly about thinking of and appreciating those who mothered us.
Oh this is very lovely and also very true!
You took the words right out of my mouth. Like so many holidays, commercialism has sucked it up and made a circus out of it. We’re still celebrating the old fashioned way though 🙂
This post helped to make my mother’s day. Did it matter that my husband printed a card off the computer this morning or that I wasn’t served breakfast in bed or that I unloaded the dishwasher AND did laundry on Mother’s Day or that my gift was “on the way” and not actually here? Nope. Cause it’s not about me- It’s about my own mama. And the things I’ll remember about this day?? Sorting through my jewelry with my baby girl to find just the right piece to accent the dress we dug out of the back of the closet because she insisted mama have a dress today. And doing her makeup as well as my own. And my son telling me how gorgeous I was when it was all done. The tiny little blessings that their tiny little selves bestowed on me today. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reminding me what the day is really all about (NOT ME!). I hope that it was a day filled with blessings for you as well. Again, THANK YOU.